Exercise Adultery

After 35 years you think you know a person.

Recently someone close to me betrayed me and I couldn’t have been more shocked.  I thought we had the same value system.  I was sure that when everyone had forsaken me she would be the one sitting by my side. Now, I sit alone.

You see my friend Sherri has become one of those people that exercise.

Our friendship goes way back to the high school days when we both had to be rousted from bed and would make it to school with seconds to spare. If Ms. Donna’s heart had been weak we would have killed her by  sophomore year.

We liked to sleep in on Sundays so we would go to Mass on Saturday night. I wasn’t even Catholic but if it allowed me to check the church thing off the list I was all for it! I think Mary would have understood. After giving birth in a manger I am sure she knew the value of a good nights sleep.

Our friend Bonita was a farm girl and was known to rise before the dawn to attend 4-H events.  We prayed for her at our Saturday night mass. We did not join her at the barn.

As all of our other friends got older and started running marathons, we laughed at them over margaritas and chips and dip.  We vowed we would tone up by lifting an eight ounce glass of wine at least 100 times.  We were women of like minds and I knew as long as Sherri was around I would never lounge alone.

That was until last week when I received this Facebook post. photo

You could have knocked me over or should I say off the couch with a feather. Walking? Exercise? Was she outside? Was there any emergency involved? I’m sorry but I was going to need more information. Mall walking I might be able to forgive because there was potential for shopping but straight up walking for exercise would not be forgiven.

When it was confirmed that she was actually exercising I just hung my head. She had joined the dark side and there was nothing I could do about it.  I had nightmares about her buying running shoes and sports bras. Images of her with water bottles strapped in a fanny pack around her waist as she yelled “Passing on the left” invaded my every waking moment.

I hope she has the song Breaking Up Is Hard To Do on her iPod that will now have to be strapped to her arm while she walks.  As for me I will be laying on the couch with a glass of wine listening to Sheryl Crow’s The First Cut Is The Deepest or in my case the first mile.




Hello! I'm a midlife maniac managing my mother, his mother, our kids, and one diva dog! During the day I am a Certified Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia Care Trainer, Certified Dementia Practioner, and a Certified Montessori Dementia Care Professional. In my spare time, I love to make funny TikTok videos (Kim Reynolds Media) and write and perform.