My grandmother is one of the sweetest ladies you will ever meet. She’s classy and smart and has worked hard all her life. Sometimes she looks so sweet and grandmother-like that you let your defenses down and that is when she “zings” you.
Yesterday I watched as it happened to my poor little niece Taylor. I felt for her I really did but I knew that being lured into Grandmother’s trap was just a right of passage. As she grows older she will learn to see it coming….sometimes. It went something like this.
Grandmother: “Taylor you are just getting so tall and beautiful!”
Taylor: “Thank you!”
Grandmother: “Are you still making good grades in school?”
Taylor: “Yes m’am, I made high honor roll and got the Principle’s Award”
Grandmother: “Oh, that’s so great! I am so proud of you!”
Taylor(beaming with pride having no idea that it’s coming): “Thank you!”
Grandmother: “So smart but you still haven’t learned my phone number.” BAM!!! there it was!
Taylor just sat there stunned and we all kind of laughed knowing that Grandmother had made her point. This sweet old lady is the pro when it comes to the last word making her point zingers. Just once I would love to have her appear on The Tonight Show and give Leno a run for his money. She would lure him in and then BAM he would be speechless.
Over the years I have been her victim on several occasions and I can still remember the shock I felt when I you realized I had been gotten again. One of my favorites was when my brother and I called her from my house Christmas Day. It was the first time we had been able to spend the holidays together in a very long time and we were so happy. She was happy for us too but just couldn’t resist saying “Well, knowing y’all are having such a good time and you are happy is all that matters. When you get old you expect to spend the holidays alone.” BAM! She got us!
The most consistent zingers are the “Well, I know you are busy and don’t have time to call” and “I just hope I live until (insert next family function here).” For as long as I can remember she has been on the verge of death when it was convenient for her, especially when you forget to call. Nothing brings on a near death experience like me forgetting to call. Apparently the phone ringing is a life sustaining necessity for her. For all I know she has her pacemaker powered by it.
The main reason she needs us all to call her everyday is so that she can complain that we all call her during The Wheel of Fortune. When I told her she should be thankful that she has so many people to call her she said “I would be even more thankful if they didn’t call during the Wheel.”
I pray that I am that smart and savvy at her age. She is revered and loved by the entire family and we all know that the zingers are just her way of loving us and making her point. We walk willingly into her trap and take the zingers and pray she will be zinging us for a very long time.