Pass the bottle, please!!

Recently I have added yet another item to my list of things that are getting on my last nerve. Several years ago the beverage industry introduced the concept of bottled water. We all laughed and joked about next they would be bottling air and thought nothing of it. A couple of years later my kids think if we are out of bottled water that the world would most likely come to an end with us all withering away from dehydration. Fast forward to 2008 when we are all addicted to the pure clear sparkly water and can’t leave home without it. Suddenly we are all awful people for polluting the environment with all those empty bottles of water ( or at my house half empty and discarded). Have you seen the commercial with the lady drinking bottled water in her car while the announcer in his voice of doom says “forty five minutes in the car, forty years in the landfill…” I didn’t want to start drinking the stupid stuff to begin with and now that I am hooked they tell me I am taking fresh air from my future grandchildren by drinking and God forbid disposing of the bottle. Isn’t that kind of like your crack dealer wearing a JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS t-shirt?

Why don’t you use the plastic re-usable bottles Kim? Well apparently they have some chemical in them that will alter your hormones. Trust me, a peri-menopausal woman doesn’t need anything else screwing with her hormones. Now I have to check the 200 free bottles we have been given from every known advertising source to see if they have a seven on the bottom. Not to keep dwelling on my age but the seven is the same color as the bottle and about 1/4 of an inch tall which means in order to keep from poisoning my family I have to find my reading glasses. Now between the guilt of my future grandchildren suffocating, my plastic affected hormones and my frustration at not being able to see OR find my reading glasses I need a …you guessed it , a drink. I think I will just go for the vodka encased in the ever recyclable glass. The bonus is if I buy it in a big enough container and I can empty it and use it to save change for my grandchildren..I say problem solved.

Author

Hello! I'm a midlife maniac managing my mother, his mother, our kids, and one diva dog! During the day I am a Certified Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia Care Trainer, Certified Dementia Practioner, and a Certified Montessori Dementia Care Professional. In my spare time, I love to make funny TikTok videos (Kim Reynolds Media) and write and perform.