Tonight I decided to take a bubble bath.  I am on a new kick to take better care of myself and cut down on my stress..blah, blah, blah.  I have never been much of a bath person.  Maybe because growing up we only had a bath tub and no shower and I grew up thinking showers were a rich persons luxury.

Lots of my friends rave about how relaxing they are and how they read, meditate and unwind under those little bubbles so I thought I would give it a try.

First I had to clear all the clothes off the side of the tub otherwise known as “the place I put clothes that I am apparently too lazy to hang up”.  Probably just too stressed to worry about those clothes I thought to myself and after emerging I will be energized and ready to be organized.  I know I was expecting a lot from the fizzy bubble pellet from Bath and Body Works but I girl can dream can’t she?  Isn’t that what soaking in the tub was all about?

Clothes cleared I began to fill the massive tub.  Note to self…next time don’t get naked until the tub is filled.  Especially on a chilly October night.

While I watched the water rise I busied my self setting up all the things I would need to relax.  I positioned the iHome within reach which wasn’t an easy task since there are not electrical outlets by the tub.  I know , I know it is for my own safety.  Next I attempted to light some candles but realized that the matches were downstairs and I was nude so bright light it was.  Just in case you were wondering bright light plus nude after the age of forty is NOT a good thing.

After the music was on I remembered that I would need to have my cell phone handy in case my daughter called to tell me she was back at her dorm safely.  Also, I thought I could check my Facebook while I was in there but realized that my phone would most likely end up in the water decided against it.

I was finally able to accumulate enough water to cover my body.  This would have been a much easier feat in my twenties. In the spirit of relaxation I tried not to think of how flat my stomach was back then.

I sank into the tub and I had to pee.  I jumped out , wrapped a towel around me and took care of business.

Back in I went when I realized that my daughter ( who is opposed to be getting rid of the house phone) would most likely call me on that phone just to annoy me.  Out again and toweled up I retrieved that phone.

Back to the bubbles where I really did try and relax.  I sang along to my tunes and thought maybe this might be worth all the prep.  That lasted for about five minutes.  The water was starting to become chilly so I ran more water.

I reclined back to enjoy it and my mind began to go over all the things I needed to do.  Stop! I told myself. This is relaxing.  You deserve this. If you don’t take care of you , no one else will.  Three more minutes pass and I was looking at the end of the tub and realized the logo was positioned off center and couldn’t let it go.  I keep thinking about whether or not the tub was made in America and if the logo was placed by a machine or a human and even wondered if I could pry it off and hot glue it back on.  This is when I realized that there is something bad wrong with me.  I do not have the ability to relax and soak in a bubble bath.

I gave up and got out and then remember that I had to wait and rinse all the bubbles down and clean the tub.   Do people really think this is relaxing?  Calgon won’t take me away but there is a good chance if I have to endure another “relaxing” bubble bath the men in the white coats will.