Last night I went to say good night to my son Michael and he was  in bed sleeping.  While I was glad he was in bed at a reasonable hour I was also a little sad that we didn’t say good night to each other.  My mind flashed back to all the bedtime talks and tucking him in with his little blue and white checked blanket. I was more than a little sad.

When I broached the subject this morning I commented that I missed hanging out with him and watching t.v..  His response was “Mom, you spent my whole childhood telling me to stop following you around everywhere..”.

Ouch! He was right.  Maybe not his entire childhood but I do remember saying that with 4000 square feet I didn’t understand why we were always in the same room.  In my defense, those were also the days when I couldn’t go to the bathroom by myself without Michael standing outside the door talking to me about he latest Family Guy episode.  I remember dreaming about watching an entire television program alone or having a telephone conversation uninterrupted. I longed for the day when my husband would travel and both kids wouldn’t be in the bed with me. Apparently, at that time in my life my fantasy was to be in bed alone, on the phone, watching television. Sad, but true.

Well, those days are here and while I do enjoy the uninterrupted bathroom time, I miss my baby boy.  We made a deal ( I made the demand and he agreed because it was 6:30 in the morning) that we would come in and say goodnight to each other every night.

If all my wishes for a few quiet moments have come true, why do I have this big empty feeling in my heart?