Dear Claire:

We judged you and for that we apologize.

In second grade when Clark came to school and said he had no breakfast because he didn’t make himself any, we judged you.  Who makes a second grader make their own breakfast? My goodness, my kids wouldn’t eat the waffles if I cooked them on the wrong toaster setting.

When you made Clark accountable for his actions in middle school while we were still coddling our kids, we judged you.  We thought you were the meanest mom ever.  At least that’s how we justified our actions as our 10 year old children didn’t make their own sandwiches.


I remember being at your house and watching Clark struggle to get a bowl out of the cabinet. As I clutched the chair to keep from jumping up to get it for him you just looked over and said “You can get it Clark.”  My kids would have stood in front of the cabinet until they got dehydrated and passed out.


You never drove Clark back to school to pick up a book, get his jacket or made excuses for missed homework.  Even though you weren’t one of us “enablers” we welcomed you into the fold.  You were the rebel, the test case and the one we all deep down wished we had the guts to be like.

Now our kids are college freshman and we are trying to get them to make their own dentist appointments.  As we discussed our struggles we couldn’t help but wish we had been more like you.  Clark probably had his dental records transferred to college so he wouldn’t miss a cleaning while away at school.

If we apologize for judging will you take our teens and transform them?

Regretfully and humbly.

Kim and Tara