Michael’s birthday is coming up on the 16th and as usual there is the after Christmas scramble for the perfect present. This year he had his eye set on a hooded fur lined sweatshirt from Abercrombie and Fitch. As I began looking for this item I realized very quickly that is was sold out just about everywhere. Never one to be defeated I called every store within 200 miles of myself and my parents in Southern Indiana searching. I called Keystone at the Crossing and got Kat. I asked for a hooded fur lined sweatshirt. I know for sure that is what I asked for because it was approximately the 40th time I had said it in the past hour. She looked and informed me that they did have one in Michael’s size. Overcome with joy I asked her if she could hold it for a couple of hours while my parents drove up there. It is about a 90 mile trip one way. Uh, we have a no hold policy. Oh, really well could you just lay it aside for an hour or two just so their trip wouldn’t be in vain. No, they have a no hold policy. All righty then. I called my parents who eagerly agreed to drive and get the sweatshirt for their only grandson and they started out. I call Kat again to explain they were on their way and to ask the closest entrance to their store. She told me and then stated once again that she would not hold the coat. No problem I said they are on their way. After speaking with my parents again they asked if there was anything else Michael would like from that store. I mentioned a few things but I knew finding these specific items would be difficult. You guessed I call Little Miss Customer Service 2008, Kat and spoke with her again. I explained that my parents had no idea what her store or merchandise looked like. I ask if she could write down these two other items and point them out to them when they came in. “We don’t uh like do that.” she said. What do you mean I said you don’t write or you don’t point? I was confused. I had already found out they don’t hold items, that you can’t pay for them by credit card and have someone pick them up, you can’t pay for them and have them shipped and they would not transfer them between stores. Now I was being told they don’t write or point either. Wow we should all get a job there. All we would have to do is listen to really loud music all day and when a customer calls just say we don’t do that. I think the next time one of my stroke patients falls in the parallel bars I’ll just look down when they ask for help and say Uh, sorry we don’t do that. Do you think my boss would like that ?

Now don’t get me wrong, if they have told brainless Kat that there is a no hold policy and she has retained that complex piece of information I am sure management feels they have accomplished quite a task. Maybe they just haven’t gotten around to writing and pointing yet. I mean seriously she was only the assistant manager. You can’t rush that middle management training.

I just hope that one day my little Kit Kat will have a life, kids, job,husband and a dog to manage everyday and some little twerp treats her with the same disrespect I received. I ‘ll do my best to make sure she remembers me because I am going call every number I can find at Abercrombie and congratulate them on being so successful that they don’t need to bother with customer service. I’ll remind them that in my day there was a company that thought they were “all that” . It was Levi Strauss. I’m not sure but I think my dad is the only one that still wears them now.