I really feel sorry for the guy that decided to chronicle the fact that he can’t get laid by his own wife using a Sex Spreadsheet.  Apparently every time he offered up his “services” and she declined he documented it complete with a quote.

Where is his manly pride? Does he think he isn’t at all to blame for the fact that his own wife would rather watch a rerun of Friends than engage in sex with him?

I’ll  let  him in on a little secret. Women like sex as much as men, sometimes we just don’t like the men offering.

As usual I need much more information than he is giving. Mr. Excel Every Where Except Under The Sheets I have some questions for you!

How often during the six week period did you go out of your way to make your bride feel loved and cherished?  Was there conversation with her beyond “Hey babe, what’s for dinner?”

When she said she felt gross did you offer to run her a bubble bath and finish the dinner dishes while she soaked? Did you touch her at any time during the day other than when you wanted to get laid? Did you hold her hand while they watched television? Was there a kiss when you got home from work and did you take the time to tell her you missed her?

How did you initiate sex? Did you try to hold her and connect with her physically or did you just reach over a grab a boob like you were picking out a grapefruit? Do you understand foreplay or do you think grabbing her butt while she washes dishes is all she needs to get warmed up? When they say foreplay begins in the kitchen it means by helping not manhandling her while she clears the table.

Finally, is what you are offering her better than a Friends rerun? I mean those guys and gals on Friends are pretty entertaining so if what you are offering up isn’t comparable maybe you should spend more time trying to excel in the romance and seduction department instead of typing on Excel.