Maid Is Killing My Buzz

I’m reading the book Maid and it’s really killing my “ I have a housekeeper” buzz.

I love having someone else clean my house. I would much prefer to work and pay to have the shower scrubbed while I’m away. Some people gamble, drink or play golf but I like to take my hard earned money and have my home smell like Windex and happiness when I walk through the door.

I think the reason I don’t like to clean is directly related to the legal pad my stepmother used to present to us on Saturday mornings. She would take a red pen and make a list as long as my leg of all the chores we needed to get done. My one lazy stepsister never had to clean because she would lose her ever-loving mind at the mention of work so that left it to the rest of us. I hated her and the list so began my disdain for scrubbing.

When we lived in Michigan I had a wonderful friend/housekeeper named Dawn and she was the best. She kept me in line and told me when my closet was in need of an intervention or when I left too much clutter out and got in the way of her cleaning. She was there when the After Prom Party of 2015 occurred and was able to get one kid’s blood out of the carpet and remove several other stains that we just didn’t discuss. I trusted her with all my “dirty” secrets.

We were together for fifteen years and she felt like a member of the family. I tried my best to get her to move to Missouri with us but she kept going on about her husband and family needing her which I thought was a lame excuse.

When I married Brad he said he didn’t think we needed Dawn anymore. I told him that I was really going to miss him. Thank goodness he came around because good men are about as hard to find as good housekeepers.

Now I have a different cleaning service. I barely know these ladies and after reading Maid I am beginning to feel judged. In the book the author has a name for the houses she cleans. I wonder if my ladies do as well? Am I the clutter house, the gaudy house, the “I can’t believe how many f**king Christmas trees this lady has” house or the “how many pillows can you get on one bed “house?

I’m looking at my house in a whole new light. Should I be hiding my medications so they don’t judge me? Are they, like the author, finishing my house early and pilfering through my things? Are my things too boring to pilfer through?

Of course I’m sure I’m overreacting. They most likely come in do their jobs and leave and don’t give me another thought. But just in case next week I’m leaving out snacks!





Beverly Diehl
January 28, 2019 at 8:50 pm

I think everyone should have the character-building experience of scrubbing floors and toilets, at least for a little while. But it’s easy to build a lot of character in a very short time, and after that, it’s just drudgery. Paying someone to do it for you, is a win-win – they get money, you get the clean house.

Stepmom from Heaven
May 13, 2019 at 10:49 am

Lol I’m pretty sure my house is the “bedroom garbage” house. My step kids have a big problem, which is not my place to fix.

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