Last night I picked up two hitchhikers at the corner of Union Lake and Commerce Road. I know you are thinking “How does she get into these messes on a Thursday night” but it happened.
I was driving home from Brad’s birthday dinner with every intention of crawling into bed when I spotted two large fluffy balls of fur frolicking back and forth in the middle of the road. Cars were slowing down and stopping and something in me knew I had to stop and help, especially since it appeared no one else was going to.
I am a stalker. There I have admitted it. I am not proud of it but I felt as my readers you should know that I have gone ape shit crazy when it comes to knowing where my packages are at any given moment.
It began innocently enough. The past few holiday seasons I did a huge portion of my shopping online. Whenever a certain package would ship Amazon would send me an email with a tracking number to track my packages. At first I thought “Wow this is really cool” and I would keep track of the packages so I would know when they were being delivered.
I always thought that if I found myself breathing heavy, flushed and there were ropes involved I would be in some sort of Fifty Shades of Grey scenario. Turns out that was not the case. Instead I was in my Fitness Revolution class slinging two very long and very heavy ropes while doing a squat. Not exactly the thing dreams are made of I can assure you.
“I hope when I am gone, people will read my old blogs.” That was the thought running through my head as I laid on the scratchy turf trying to “plank” for thirty seconds. Nick, my trainer at Total Sports in Wixom yelled encouragement and something like “back up” when I would fall to the floor. It was the longest thirty seconds of my life but just a small fraction of Nick’s Fitness Revolution class.
It has been twenty pounds since anyone in our family has passed away.
I know this for sure because recently I lost my dear Aunt Mary. She was my grandmother’s sister and one of the people I admired most in the world. I knew when I heard that I had to make the trip down for her funeral and began to prepare for my trip.
I am so furious! Looks like I am going to have to use my emergency Xanax to teach Michael how to parallel park. Now you have been along for this crazy existence that I call my life and you know darn good and well that there are many other times when this emergency pill is going to be needed. But because this antiquated maneuver is still required before you can even begin the road test I am going to have to go to some deserted parking lot and try to remain calm while trying to teach my son to do something that I don’t even do well. We would have a better chance of him teaching me how to shoot a three point shot.
bit.ly/10m2SKD Read about the new bill here!
Governor Snyder recently signed a law making it illegal for teens to talk on their cellphones while driving. While I’m all about teens paying attention to the road and not their phones I thought the “talking” part was funny.