Don’t Run Away It Gets Better—I Promise

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Do you feel the child you are raising is never going to “grow up”? Do you fear they will be wondering around as a adult trying to get to work on time but unable to find their jacket?

Do you envision a 30-year-old man sitting across from you at Thanksgiving with no teeth because he never brushed?

Are you concerned that you will have to still pay your child allowance to go to the mailbox to retrieve your social security check?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then I am here to give you hope of a better tomorrow!!

My son Michael is a senior in high school and has grown up and become a responsible young man. He gets himself up for school and completes assignments on time. Michael participates in leadership activities and plays three varsity sports. He has white sparkly teeth and a dazzling smile.

When I wrote the blog below back in 2009 I would have bet my last dollar that I would still be trying to get him out the door on time when he was 20. I was certain by 25 he would be toothless.

So go forth and be inspired! Your hard work will pay off one day; the trick is to stay sane until then.

MICHAEL – 2009

I looked up hurry in the dictionary today just to make sure I had the correct definition.

I was a little concerned because I explain it to my son Michael every morning and he doesn’t seem to get it. He’s a pretty smart kid so I thought the problem must surely be my inability to explain it correctly. Perhaps I needed clarification.

Here is the definition according to Webster:

HURRY: verb (used without object),

1. To move, proceed, or act with haste.

HURRY ACCORDING TO ME: Get your butt in gear or you are going to miss the bus, which means I will have to drive you to school in my pajamas with a clip holding my bangs out of my eyes and no makeup.

It’s guaranteed that I will run into one of those moms that showers and gets dressed before her kids get out of bed so she is fresh and ready to start her extremely productive day! I hate those moms! They judge me! They point and gawk as if they have never seen anyone in pajamas operating a motor vehicle.

HURRY ACCORDING TO MICHAEL: Michael’s definition of hurry is to move at the exact same pace whether gets up at 7:00 a.m. or 7:20 a.m.

His routine involves showering and doing his hair, reading the sports page, loading his backpack, eating breakfast, finding his jacket, blaming me because he can’t find his jacket, putting on his shoes and spraying AXE body spray over his ENTIRE body.

His teeth will only be brushed if he accidently gets ready too quickly and has two minutes to spare. If he starts a Family Guy story before you get the toothbrush in his mouth it’s all over.

My telling him that if he can chew a steak when he’s 30 it will be a miracle or that teenage girls don’t kiss boys with no teeth is the only part of the routine that varies.

If we are lucky we finish our morning with him spitting a huge blob of toothpaste in the sink and announcing he is ready to go just as they bus pulls up.

By this time my blood pressure is at stroke level and I sitting on the couch swaying back and forth and mumbling to myself.

It’s not pretty and I’m sure it’s the reason I am graying prematurely. My only hope is that he keeps his teeth long enough to find a wife and have a child just like him!




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