…Things That Go Boom In The Night

Spring has finally sprung and the time has come to open up the windows and let in some fresh air.  The birds are chirping and you can hear lawn mowers off in the distance, unless that is you have neighbors like mine.

I live directly behind an elderly couple.  She runs a daycare and he shoots off fireworks randomly all year long.  Don’t they sound lovely?

From the time the snow melts until it blankets the ground again my neighbor will just randomly and without any warning start shooting off fireworks.  There is nothing like laying in bed at night and having firecrackers and bottle rockets start to explode.  My poor beagle jumps straight up in the air and lands in the middle of my bed.  Apparently he is afraid of loud noises which explains why this adorable dog breed for hunting was abandoned at the shelter. We lay together alternating licks on my emergency Xanax until it subsides.

My next door neighbor and I have both lost our minds and left out bodies and ended up standing in the mulch behind our houses in our pajamas yelling at him to stop at the top of our lungs  It’s not pretty but that is what he has driven us to.

We have called the police numerous times and nothing ever happens.  So we live in a firecracker war zone of fear during the summer.

His wife runs a daycare and those kids love to play outside and they all have great lungs. Aside from the firecrackers, there is nothing quite like being startled by a toddler screaming blue bloody murder 12 times a day while Ms Mary yells “use your words”.

I know by now you are wondering where I live and if you too could own a home where there is so much excitement and entertainment.  Just when I thought after ten summers it couldn’t get worse they got a new dog named Diesel. I am assuming their old dog either died from a firecracker induced heart attach or finally ran away.

Diesel is a very large dog and apparently not very smart.  Diesel wanders away ALL THE TIME!  All day every day you hear Diesels name about 500 times.  After the kids yell for him for about five minutes Ms. Mary starts yelling for him and then finds him and drags him back instructing him that wondering away from the yard is an NO NO.  I am not optimistic that he is getting it.

So during the day I listen to kids gone wild and the hunt for Diesel and in the evening I get the firework show.

I can’t wait until it gets hot so I can justify turning on the air , closing the windows and tuning out the neighbors.